Chapter 6   Do You Hear Me Now?

Who Cut The Cheese on this Saturday morning in early May when Ian and I traveled to the local store for bacon?  While there we peered into the deli showcase and our eyes landed almost simultaneously on Swiss cheese.  We love this cheese not only for its pungent aroma, its scintillating taste but as much the holes that we’re certain little mice had created.

We waited patiently for the person behind the counter to acknowledge us as our mouths watered for the taste of the cheese.  Surely the lady could read our minds and knew that we were ready to sample and buy some of their finely presented cheeses.  Not certain of the delayed response of the deli keeper, I looked her way to let her know that we were interested in her help.  Grudgingly she seemed to move our way as if we were a bother.  She still carried something from her other task as she came closer.

She must have been having a difficult day as she didn’t smile or seem to be appropriately engaged in helping us.  No words, nothing came from her as she stood not facing us directly, still seeming bothered.  So, I spoke and mentioned that we would like some cheese.  Surely she could read our minds, but guess not.  She asked which cheese.  Natural enough question.  But the attitude with daggered sharpness that was pervasive and her apparent lack of customer and human skills left me cold.  So cold in fact, that if frost could arise from my feelings of human separation, snow would have piled around us four feet deep.

In my searching of her face to see some evidence of human kindness or personal desire to help us, I found none.  All that resonated within me was her bitterness, her harshness and her lack of desire to add value to our lives.  In that instant, tasting or buying cheese was not even a worthy thought.  I simply said no thank you and turned away.  As our grandson turned to go with me, it was clear that he was not in tune with my experience as his eyes had been fixed on other show case items.  I can still hear her voice as we turned quickly and walked away.  Emotionally and rationally disconnected we went on our way as we could hear her say, let me help you.  Too late, too much damage had already been done.

In reflection with our grandson, he wanted to know what had just happened.  I shared our experience and he understood.  Though I think he was wondering why grandpa was so affected when all Ian wanted was for us to have a good taste of cheese together. Yes, that cheese… that mouse riddled cheese. It was just the night before that he had caught, toasted on an open fire and served his brother and sister back yard hand caught frogs.  A good piece of cheese could have been his reward for his earlier frog delicacy sacrifice.  J

Now having more time to reflect, it occurs to me that I was not a kind customer nor did I add value to her life.  She may have just had another customer interaction that was equally as disastrous as ours.  Or worse, maybe someone just died in her family and she had mustered all that was within her to be at work that very day.

Questions that arose for me are highlighted here and I know I must take some action to help this person and importantly as well to ask her forgiveness for my thoughtless act of leaving her in my dust.  Speaking of unkind, how unkind of me and how did my poor behavior reinforce her probable thoughts that customers are a pain.   We are you know.  I am one of us.  And, not the least of my concerns is; what is the lasting impact of my negative behavior on our grandson Ian?

Did she have an unusually difficult day before Ian and I arrived?

Was store management an issue?

• Had store management taught the basic skills of customer service?
• Is store management reinforcing customer service skills?
• Is store management measuring and providing feedback on customer service in employee development?
• Was there a staffing issue and she had been called to do more than was possible on her shift?
• Was she in the right slot in customer service?
• Was she overworked?
• Was she under-appreciated?

Are there family issues?

Are there relationship issues?

Are there financial issues?

Is there a sense that she is blaming circumstances for her attitude?

Is there a lack of personal ownership for desired results?

Or, is there a cultural disconnect?

Possibly, am I the problem?

Whatever the issue, I now know that I have at least two apologies and requests for forgiveness. First to apologize and ask for forgiveness for my behavior and reaction with the lady behind the counter.  Secondly the same with our grandson Ian.  Surely some mousy cheese will let him know of my sincerity.  My heavenly Father has already forgiven me for my actions.

So, what have I learned and how will I apply this lesson in my life.  I should be better prepared when asking for help.  This will include being specific in my request so that there isn’t an apparent need for the other person to try to read my mind.

1. May I have a sample of the Boar’s Head Swiss cheese?  The one with the holes in it please.
2. I would like 4 ounces of thinly cut (1/16”) Boar’s Head Swiss cheese Yes, the one with holes in it.
3. Thank you and have a wonderful day.  And, oh, thank you for helping me.

As I think, it’s clear that no one has cut the cheese yet.  We haven’t even begun to taste it.  But, I’m convinced we will.  Now I’m beginning to understand that Cheese Cuts Both Ways.  May I be more loving and kind and not be upset when another person isn’t. Sometimes life gets in the way of goodness.  Or is it that lack of goodness in some ways typifies life, if only for a moment?  Is this another choice?  Yes, and I choose goodness.  Now, let’s cut the cheese!

Did I hear you ask; how do we move forward?  Let’s listen in.